A Little Life seems like any other book about friendship when you start reading it. It depicts JB, Malcolm, Jude and Willem. We start their story during their twenties and follow them for decades. For the first hundred pages, we think this story will be okay, quite light and maybe funny sometimes. Four men growing up might be interesting, especially with the New-York setting. But something feels different, you try to guess what.

For those first hundred pages, you have three points of view: Malcolm, JB and Willem. We have a bit of their past, their thoughts and what they aim to be. They each give their view on their friends. Each talk about Jude. But we never have Jude’s thoughts. And yet, he is already enigmatic because of the little details his friends know and give us about him. We want to know a bit more, to finally have a sense of them all. We do have Jude’s thoughts then. We have everything until the last pages of the book. Little by little, we have bits of his life. Some of them are very detailed, some are faster because we already grasped the meaning of it.  

I was so not ready for what follows. This book needs multiple triggers warning. It is devastating, deeply. You won’t feel great while reading this story, you’ll want to cry and focus on things that make you feel better, make you love this world despite of its cruelty. You’ll cry again, stop reading because it gets too much. Way too much. And yet, you keep going. It is the most horrible story I have ever read in my life, and yet it might be one of my favourite books ever. I couldn’t even tell you why. When I talk about it, I can only talk about its atrocity and deep sadness. I wanted to finish it really quickly so that I won’t have to endure the story ever again. I will never read it again. And yet, it’s one of the best books ever written. You’ll have to read it for yourself to understand it.

This book is outrageous, yes. It is also beautiful thanks to friendship and love. Despite what we may think, this book is full of love and respect. The four friends, with Andy or even Harold, make us look at what love is for just one human being. When you’re ready to accept totally someone, no matter of what their past is or how they feel, then you’re ready to love them deeply and unconditionally. That fact that Jude understands that, little by little – even though he doesn’t feel he is worthy of that love – shows that love can almost save someone. Or a least make his life a little more bearable.

Be ready before reading this story, it might not be for you. It is really intense and might make you feel like crap for hundred and hundred of pages. Be ready.